This month, I just want to share a recent entry straight from my journal. I wrote this right after reading a chapter from the book Suffer Strong by Katherine & Jay Wolf.

Lately, my life has been full of waiting – waiting for good things. I consider patience to be one of my stronger virtues (it has to be when you walk slow as a sloth sometimes). However, I have found myself frustrated with waiting lately. Specifically, waiting on the process for me to get my license to drive with hand controls, which would lead to me getting a wheelchair accessible car that will make my life a whole lot easier. The process keeps getting delayed right when I anticipate getting licensed any day. I’ve been training with hand controls one week each month since April.

It feels like I’m doing everything I need to do in order to make my life easier. My efforts don’t seem to make a difference at times. Why is it taking so long for something good and honorable that will help me do the things I need to do? That’s a fair question I’ve asked God lately. I’m not asking for a luxury vehicle, to win the lottery or even to get my dream job. These things I want are healthy and beneficial for myself and others around me. Still, I have to be careful not to let the frustration of waiting take the joy and gratitude out of my life.

Just because waiting is hard and confusing doesn’t mean we have to be miserable in the process. Read this journal entry, word for word from my composition notebook, and just consider.

If you only live according to your circumstances, it is hard to live a good life.

DON’T WAIT TO CELEBRATE

It is good to celebrate in the midst of pain & waiting, even when your plate is empty. Because God is surely working & providing for your soul. And He can & will fill your plate, even if it’s not with what you imagined – it will be better than what you imagined in the end. That, in itself, is worth celebrating.

The main message is, don’t wait until everything is perfect and you have it all together to live joyfully. For one, that perfect time you’re waiting for might never come and then you will have missed moments in your life worth celebrating. Secondly, we should celebrate even in the hard moments, because as Katherine says, all that’s needed to turn a pity party into praise is perspective.

In the chapter of Katherine’s book I read, she talks about some nice, monogrammed bed sheets she received as a wedding gift. In the Wolf’s first apartment, she didn’t want to use them – she wanted to wait until they were in their first house to use nice sheets since the apartment was temporary. Little did she know, her life would be changed by a stroke and a chronic neurovascular diagnosis before they ever moved out of the apartment. The nice sheets she was saving for the perfect scenario laid unused in the closet.

But after the stroke, their perspective changed. While living in a temporary brain recovery home, Jay pulled out the nice, monogrammed sheets. Even in the midst of a situation that seems impossible to enjoy or celebrate, the Wolfs wanted to seize the opportunity they had to use something so special. Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed for anyone, and the stroke was a strong reminder of that for them.

Take my Friedreichs ataxia (FA) diagnosis for example. Celebrating FA seems so backwards, but each year that passes since my diagnosis feels like a milestone. Even though it’s the toughest thing in my life, I still recognize all the ways it’s forced me to grow & persevere and the challenges I have overcome. I don’t need to wait for a cure to feel whole or to be worth celebrating.

As I mentioned in my last post, I feel that it’s important not to wait for hard circumstances to pass before recognizing the good in life, but to find the good in the midst of the hard. Life with FA is worth celebrating because even when things are hard, there is growth and purpose in that pain. I believe that God makes Himself known to us through trials in life, and He shows us purpose in those moments.

Celebration is also an act of defiance against hopelessness. Chapter 3 of Suffer Strong ends with a story of Jay making a bold move even when the doctors said Katherine wouldn’t be able to eat again. Instead of falling into despair, Katherine’s husband buys them a dinner table to store in the garage until the day when Katherine could eat again. Long story short, I’m pretty sure the Wolfs are still eating on that table to this day – or at least they were when that book was released in 2020.

Celebrating doesn’t always look like throwing a party, jumping and screaming in triumph or treating yourself to a nice dessert or fancy meal. Celebrating means recognizing joy and hope, and that doesn’t have to be dictated by your circumstances.

In the end, life is about how we react. Don’t let your current hardships or lack define your joy—choose to celebrate even in the waiting.