“That was really brave of me.” “I have a nice smile.” “I couldn’t have done that two months ago.” “I improved my grades this semester; I worked really hard for that.”

Acknowledging your good qualities and sharing your accomplishments isn’t self-centered or narcissistic, it’s necessary.

Being humble doesn’t mean putting yourself down, it means building yourself up while still putting others above yourself. For so long, I thought it was wrong to talk about my accomplishments or draw attention to myself. In the long run, that has really contributed to my low self esteem and sense of self.

While I have always been quick to compliment others and try to be kind, which is another good quality I have, I have also been quick to dismiss my accomplishments and put myself to the side. That is not the honorable thing to do and it’s not benefitting myself in my relationships now because when you pour out and don’t soak anything in, your well runs dry.

Don’t get me wrong, being humble and kind are very important qualities, but you can’t love others well when you don’t love and appreciate who you are and who God made you to be.

I struggle with anxiety, and I have noticed the behavior in myself of feeling guilty or like I have wronged someone based off of their behavior. If someone acts different toward me or does something out of the ordinary, I conclude they might be upset with me. A lot of times that isn’t the case, and I’ll start feeling unnecessarily guilty. Only recently have I pinpointed these behaviors, and the way I am working on it is to think better of myself and know myself better.

It’s an important step for anyone to take, but it’s much easier said than done, so how do you do it?

I believe that knowing God goes hand-in-hand with knowing yourself, so prayer and interacting with God’s Word combined with these five habits has made a huge difference in how I regard myself. .

1. Talk about yourself better in quality and, if necessary, quantity- Of course, don’t go overboard. As someone who did not talk about my own accomplishments much at all, I am saying to do it without comparing your accomplishments to others or putting anyone down. When you talk positively about yourself, it makes you feel better, and I’ve found the people who care about you enjoy it too.
2. Compliment yourself- Whether it’s a behavior you are happy to see from yourself, something you did or a quality that you enjoy about yourself, it helps to acknowledge it – maybe even out loud. Don’t wait for someone else to do it because you’ll be disappointed if it doesn’t happen, and you’ll be teaching yourself to get assurance externally.
3. Capture good moments- write it down, take a picture, record it, and look back on it. This serves as a good reminder of who you are even when others say things that might change your perception.
4. Remind yourself of the truth you know- other people might tell you something about yourself that might not be true, and you can believe it, or you can remember what’s true of yourself. This step has to come after the others because if you don’t recognize the good things about yourself it’s much easier to believe what others say about who you are. Know yourself, know who God says you are and don’t forget it.
5. Once you invest in yourself, invest in others- Know yourself and help others do the same. I think that’s better than any compliment you can give.

Doing these things have both immediate and long-term results. Getting started can be tricky, but be intentional and trust that you will be better because of it.

So next time someone asks you what you’ve been doing, don’t shy away from the fact that you’ve been making progress at work, been consistent in your exercise or whatever you are proud of in your life, big or small. Acknowledging it will impact you, and it just might impact others.