I vividly remember focusing so hard, trying not to fall off the stage in my high school graduation. I remember running across the courtyard during an intense game of dodgeball at P.E. in elementary school. I remember going out in the backyard and jumping on the trampoline like it was yesterday.

Those things aren’t at all blurry in my mind. After all, my high school graduation was less than four years ago. That’s why I cringe when people tell me something like, “I understand. My grandma has trouble going up stairs,” or “Yeah, my grandpa uses a wheelchair, too.”

If that’s how you relate to me living with a disability, that’s all good. Empathy is very important, and that comes from different experiences for everyone. But I am not your grandfather. I am 21-years-old. I am a senior in college. A walking device or a disability has forced me to grow up faster, but I am still a young man.

I’ll still laugh if you turn on Spongebob. I still like to listen to today’s top hits playlist from time to time. I still like to eat chicken fingers, and I enjoy late-night drives. I still cherish nights out with friends. Not to say older people can’t do those things, but I am very much young.

When I hear people compare me having physical issues to an old relative, it is hard not to feel like my youth is being stripped because of my disability. I don’t want people to view me as an old person just because I need help walking, just like I don’t want people to think being my friend means being a caretaker.

I have played youth sports, gone through the awkward phases of middle school (yikes) and tossed my graduation cap up in the air like anyone else. I still drive, I still go to college and I still make (or buy) my own meals like anyone around me. Just like my disability doesn’t change my character, it doesn’t affect my youth.

I have dreams and aspirations that I’m chasing just like any other young person. I want to get married, have a career as a journalist and grow my platforms to better spread awareness for FA and empathy for all.

I know you’re probably thinking, “Okay, okay. We get it,” but I say this to help people realize my methods are different, but my goals and my timeline are not much different from the average person. The means of reaching them just looks different for me, as it might for many disabled people.

So, if I’m ever stubborn and deny help, it’s not me being rude. Remember that I’m at the age when most people are in their prime physical shape, and I like to be as self-reliant as I can.

All this to say, some ideas are left as just that – ideas up in the ol’ thinking machine. It’s important to think how your words will be received by the people you say them to BEFORE you say them.